November 23rd, 1998, was a significant date. You’re probably already clocking that it was Doctor Who’s 35th anniversary. In fact, it was the most underwhelming anniversary ever. Ten years earlier, we’d had Silver Nemesis – poor, yes, but nonetheless there. Five years earlier, we’d had Dimensions in Time – awful, yes, but undoubtedly celebratory. At least someone was trying. In 1998, there was nothing on TV – well, unless you had something called BBC Choice, and no-one I knew did. (A few years later, the channel transmogrified into BBC3, which would go on to have a healthy relationship with Doctor Who.) Even the novels didn’t produce anything noteworthy.
In my house, things were different. It was on this date that I began a project. It went by the name of Doctor Who In An Exciting Guide Through Time And Space. More loosely, I referred to it as The Exciting Guide. More usually, I simply called it “my website”. I was creating an exhaustive website covering all of televised Doctor Who (there being no thought in 1998 that there would ever be more televised Doctor Who made).
There was one flaw in my plan: I had no internet access. Even today, 11 and a bit years later, I don’t know how to create a website. It would have been more accurate to call it “my Word document”. But the plan always was that, once I finished it, I would turn it into a website.
The first thing I created was the introduction, setting out my stall. I present some of this for you now.
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There have been innumerable guides through the world of Doctor Who over its first thirty five years of existence, and the number and form of these seem to have taken on lives of their own since the end of the series’ regular TV appearances in 1989. There has, however, not yet been a guide such as this.
The purpose of my Exciting Guide is to go through every TV adventure of the Doctor, in strict chronological order of broadcast, and analyse each one as if it were being viewed for the first time. It’s all very easy to watch "The Invasion" and declaim, “Ah, look, it’s a dummy run for the UNIT years and features a very famous scene outside St. Paul’s Cathedral.” But it seems the one perspective that has been lost is that of the first-time viewer.
For example. While reviewing "Arc Of Infinity", I do not remark that the actor playing Maxil was later to portray the Sixth Doctor. This is, however, noted for "Caves Of Androzani". This enables me to take “continuity” as it comes: rather than attempting to fit everything we know about Gallifrey into Robert Holmes’ vision, I can accrue information as I go.
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Time, alas, has been my enemy. Less than a year later, Doctor Who Magazine began their “Time Team” feature which involves four fans watching every TV adventure of the Doctor, in strict chronological order of broadcast...oh. They had the same idea. More or less. Still, mine’s a bit different. They’re just doing 2 pages of a magazine and making comments about what they’re watching. Mine’s more of an encyclopaedia.
Oh. In 2009, Toby Hadoke and Robert Shearman embarked upon “Running Through Corridors”, in which they watched every TV adventure of the Doctor, in strict...ah. Clearly great minds do think alike. Although mine has yet to produce Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf or Dalek. (I still haven’t summoned up the courage to buy this book for fear that it might be too similar to my ersatz-website, but now I’ve mentioned it in my blog, guess I better had.)
Oh. In January 2011, Neil Perryman was inspired by the aforementioned book to create his own website – using the internet and everything – which chronicles his own project, which involved him sitting his wife Sue down in front of the TV to watch every TV adventure of the Doctor, in strict...well, you get the idea. To add insult to injury, the website is brilliant. It’s now been going for 13 months and they’ve reached The Time Meddler. And just to stick the boot in, the first post on the website reads:
Watching Doctor Who from the beginning isn’t anything new.
There’s another, very good, reason why my Word document never made it to becoming a website. I haven’t finished it. When I began in 1998, I assumed I’d be able to watch about a story a week, so I’d get to McGann’s brief blaze of glory by about Christmas 2002. Well, that festive season actually saw me on Day of the Daleks – story 60. I began well, but had reckoned without life itself. In November 1998, I was living with my mother, working 9 to 5. I was 22, had recently graduated, and wasn’t doing much with my life. During the intervening time, I moved to London, graduated twice more, moved out of London, got married, started working as a teacher and, finally, had a child. Somehow, I have had increasingly less and less free time for the website. I’m now 35 and have recently completed work on Castrovalva. Official reckoning has this as story 116 out of 224, and they’re making more all the time. If I ever finish, at current rate, I’ll be in my fifties.
Still, I’ve got a blog now. It’s finally time for the Exciting Guide to make its bow. My next blog post will be my 1998 take on An Unearthly Child. Then, for the foreseeable future, I will drop entries from my so-called-website into my blogging routine from time to time.
Meanwhile, here’s the rest of that intro I penned in 1998, including an explanation of the categories I was to use.
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I am indebted to many different people for their influence on this work. The style, in particular, is pilfered directly from three science fiction reference works: "The Lurker’s Guide To Babylon 5"; Andy Lane’s "The Babylon File"; and, on more familiar ground, David J Howe and Stephen James Walker’s "Doctor Who: The Television Companion". This last has been invaluable as a source of information, too, as have Doctor Who Magazine Archives compiled by Andrew Pixley, and Lance Parkin’s "A History Of The Universe". I even found myself picking up Jean-Marc Lofficier’s "Doctor Who - The Programme Guide" once in a blue moon.
A note on canonicity. As a general rule, if it was on telly, it’s canonical. But so is "Shada". But "Dimensions In Time" isn’t...oh, coitus. See individual entries.
Each entry is sub-divided into far too many different categories, none of which I could resist putting in, and all of which should see this Guide listed under “exhaustive.” Here is a map to help you find your way.
Story Code
These are usually fairly well-documented, but where there is controversy I include all available options.
Spoiler Alert
Well, we might as well do this properly. Stories which reveal something momentous - for instance, "The War Games" - will get a bright neon light flashing up at the top (!) to warn readers not to carry on unless they really want to.
Title
Again, where there is difference of opinion I list all possibilities. However, I tend to plump for my own preferred option.
“Friends” Title
Can’t remember the difference between "The Seeds Of Death" and "The Seeds Of Doom"? This might help.
Number of Episodes / Episode Titles
The latter of these only showing its face up until "The Gunfighters".
Current availability
This should only be required up to the end of the Patrick Troughton era. Although some Pertwee stories only exist as black-and-white, I can't be bothered to list those.
Canon Fodder
Does it count? Why shouldn't it? Ah, if only it were that simple. The rot sets in round about the start of the eighties. As with most things.
Source
It is a sad fact that I can’t watch every episode over again to get a first-time perspective, as far too many of them have gone the way of the Pudding Lane bakery. Wherever possible, I have based my observations on the original episodes as transmitted. Some BBC Video releases and all UK Gold repeats will have been edited to some degree, at least to remove the credits. Other sources will be listed as and when appropriate.
Date
No, not the original dates of transmission. I have vetoed this as being far too boring. This section will give, as near as possible, the date(s) on which the story is set.
Personal Chronology
This won’t be important for a while, but is just to point out where, for example, the first Doctor might come from in "The Three Doctors", whether the Master follows the same chronology as the Doctor, and exactly when in the Cybermen’s history we’ve now arrived.
Genre
Doctor Who fandom has developed its own language over the years to describe the various elements of the show - Doctor Who Magazine has in the past taken great glee in sending up phrases like “Bohemian adventurer” or “classic Holmesian double-act”, whilst naturally using them freely elsewhere in the issue. I embrace this useful shorthand, and will endeavour to point out which little box each story fits into.
Plot synopsis
Exactly what it sounds like, in as brief a format as is helpful.
Pitch
It’s kind of like “The Time Machine” meets “Perils Of Pauline”. Am I warm? (And does anyone actually know what “Perils Of Pauline” was?)
The Money Shot
The one scene that really sticks in the memory...for being good or bad. This may be difficult to choose in many stories (for both possible reasons).
The Doctor and his kind
From the initial mystery to the glut of information eventually available, teased out bit by contradictory bit.
The TARDIS log
As we learn more and more about the Doctor’s ship, it shall be duly noted here.
Past Journeys
Although many entries in this section will be noted in other sections, it seems necessary for the moment. References to previous journeys actually seen on screen will not be included. I shall also attempt not to refer to any journeys better covered in Name Dropping.
The history of Earth
The Doctor spends more time on our little blue-green planet than anywhere else, and if we knew nothing about its history beforehand, we surely do now. And that includes our future history.
Alien Worlds
As the TARDIS crew explore strange new worlds and seek out new life and new civilisations, we examine their attributes in very little depth. Flora, fauna, astronomy, population and transport, all condensed into a few bullet points.
Script Heaven
All those moments of dialogue that give intelligent science fiction a good name.
Script Hell
All those moments of dialogue that make intelligent science fiction fans want to curl up in a corner and hide.
Catchphrase
As Doctor Who gets self-referential, we note how many times the polarity is, indeed, reversed. I would point out to William Hartnell fans that “Hmm?” is not a catchphrase. Nor is “What? Eh?”
Name-dropping
All those people the Doctor claims to have met. While we’re on the subject, I have a photograph of myself with Sophie Aldred, you know. And Jon Pertwee’s autograph. And Tim Piggott-Smith’s, but now we’re getting a bit obscure.
Villainous Plotting
The most tortuous of Doctor Who’s villains’ plots unravelled and presented for your delectation. For all those fans who still can’t remember who Kellman was working for really. Sometimes I may even be able to explain why.
The Doctor’s Achievement
From the days when he managed to do squat all but observe, through to the days when he saved the Universe every other week, we note exactly what the point is of each of these adventures, when you really get right down to it.
It’s The End Of The World As We Know It!
Just recording how many times the Doctor literally saves Earth; or some other planet; or indeed the Universe itself. Plus perhaps a mention for any times that he totally fails to do this.
Things I learned from Doctor Who
It started out with an educational intent, so we discover the Blue Peter-style how-to-do-its weaved cunningly into the plot.
Body Count
Is “Doctor Who” too violent? We keep a record here of those offed in the cause of intergalactic do-goodery.
Screams / Twists Ankle
A guide to what we gradually learn about the Doctor’s companions (although the likes of Susan and Romana will also be covered in The Doctor And His Kind). Also, the rubbish things they do - screaming and twisting their ankles, for starters. This will include the Oh, I’ve Been Captured Tally. Your true “Oh, I’ve been captured” moment (as per Mr Eddie Izzard) consists of one companion being captured, and the Doctor having to go and rescue them. The whole crew being captured, or indeed just the Doctor, is not sufficient.
Don’t move! Or the girl gets it!
Is the main role of a companion to be held hostage so that the Doctor can rescue her? Let’s find out.
Hypnotised left, right and centre (and friends)
Hypnotism, possession and duplication. What good plot devices they are to stir up a little tension amongst the cast. Spot how they becomes more and more frequent as I tally, and try not to feel for Sarah Jane at the end of “The Hand Of Fear”.
Brig's Army
When Lethbridge-Stewart turns up running UNIT, “Doctor Who” was arguably never the same again. Those crazy chaps are examined here.
Chekhov's Plot Device
Anton Chekhov stated that if you are going to use a gun in act three, make sure it’s on the wall in act one - this is known as Chekhov’s Gun, or, if you prefer, Byrne’s Barrels Of Hexachromite Gas.
Irrelevant Escape Attempts
Being described as those intervals within episodes where one or more characters run about futilely before ending up more or less where they started. Fans of “Genesis Of The Daleks” may want to avert their eyes.
EffectsWatch
Great effects, awful effects...all are noted here for commendation, for condemnation or for the sake of sheer hilarity.
The TARDIS wardrobe
And on the subject of sheer hilarity... The Doctor and his companions have worn some strange clobber in the course of their travels, and the greatest crimes against fashion are recorded here, as well as a few triumphs.
Bottomless pockets
We rifle through the Doctor’s clothing and see what he’s got hidden underneath those jelly babies.
Even the sonic screwdriver...
Charting the many usages of TV’s most famous vodka and orange. (Oh, how we laugh!)
Dalek history
Earth isn’t the only planet whose story is told over the course of time, and the mutants of Skaro have their full story explored here.
Cyberhistory
Anything the Daleks get, the emotionless Mondasians must surely receive in kind.
Dudley!
Doctor Who is often praised for its atmospheric incidental music. I would not want to belittle this, so its glories are presented here. We also offer for your inspection a sample of mindless chords thrown in by in-house composer Dudley Simpson to heighten the drama.
Special categories
If anything needs discussing in more depth - a particularly thorny continuity dilemma, for example, or a discussion of certain themes or arguments - it can be slotted in here.
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